You’ve changed.

Two words I never wanted to hear in that context or tone. But there they were. What happened to your positive attitude, your go-getter ambition, your lust for life?

I’ll be honest, I lost all of those things for a while. Lockdown fatigue hit me HARD. Even as an introvert, once the exciting novelty of being at home without the need to meet all sorts of expectations wore off, my confidence took a drastic dive.

There were days when I barely recognised my reflection in the mirror.

(Oh, the beauty of how stress can mess with your skin, hey?)

Now, look. It wasn’t all bad – something just felt a little “off.” You know that feeling, right? When you just don’t feel yourself.

CHANGE.

The pandemic shattered my perfect illusion of what 2020 was “supposed” to be.

I tried to get my vibe back. Oh, how I tried...

I tried small things, like baking muffins and rearranging my home office. Those helped, but it was a bit like slapping on a mini band-aid over a twisted ankle.

I needed alignment…

A RHYTHM. A better routine – and doing something that felt meaningful to me.

It’s true, a global pandemic will put a spanner in the works for the most adaptable of us – yes, EVEN life coaches and self-care advocates!

Now let’s talk about CONFIDENCE.

Something so many of us struggle with, yet we rarely talk about it – and we should! We shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. No one is perfect. We ALL have low days and go through messy seasons.

It’s called being human.

If you’re not feeling quite like yourself lately, trust me, you’re not alone!

We’re ALL trying to figure things out one step at a time and adapt to a “new normal.”

So, I thought I’d share a few things that have recently helped me find my spark (again). Grab a coffee, get comfy and let’s talk about simplifying things and building confidence.

building confidence

GETTING REAL ABOUT PASSIONS & HAPPINESS

Up until March, right before lockdown, I was trying to grow a content marketing business.

Only my heart wasn’t in it.

(REALLY, it wasn’t).

I love writing, but I don’t love writing for everyone or on every topic. I was frustrated. And I knew it was pointless trying to grow something sustainably that I wasn’t prepared to give my very best to.

It was around this time I started having more heart-to-heart conversations with friends.

We talked about life and work and everything in between. Together, we inspired and encouraged each other. It helped – especially on those really challenging days. Little by little, I found myself intrigued.

I became curious about a big passion I’d put on the back-burner over the years.

I was so inspired, I invested in a course and started doing a whole bunch of research. When I was trying to build my content marketing business, things felt quite forced. This was different… It FLOWED. It all felt so right. So I made a big decision – I trusted my gut and did a complete 180.

There it was.

MY FIRE.

Back again… Burning in the background until I was ready to acknowledge it.

Funny how that happens, isn’t it? We squash big dreams and aspirations because we feel like we *should* go in a different direction or do what’s expected of us.

Now look… I swear, I’m not trying to tell you that you need some life-changing decision to build your confidence. You don’t. But you DO need to get brutally honest what you want in order to be happy.

When we do things that make us happy, building confidence becomes automatic.

Yes, I know that’s not easy when you’re feeling low.

And it can be hard to muster up the energy for any kind of creative brainstorming or a deep conversation – especially during a pandemic.

That’s why we need to slow things DOWN and take baby steps.

Building confidence needs a holistic approach.

It’s a journey, not a sprint or a competition.

With the right momentum and tools, it can snowball into something you didn’t even know was possible. That’s not wishy-washy nonsense, I’m talking from experience.

Here are a few of those tools – some SIMPLE things I started doing that made a huge difference to the way I felt, my outlook on life, and how I started showing up authentically (again).

HOW TO MAKE BUILDING CONFIDENCE A HABIT

(Even when you’re low on energy and motivation)

building confidence 1

1. SIMPLIFY YOUR SELF-CARE

Self-care is usually one of the first things to go when your confidence takes a knock.

Ironic because it’s actually such a GREAT self-esteem booster. I used to love my YouTube workouts every day until they started feeling like a schlep. Obviously I’m not advocating for laziness… exercise is SO important for mental and physical well-being.

BUT sometimes what we think we should be doing and what we’re capable of at that moment are two entirely different things. What really helped me was trying an alternative.

I didn’t stop working out…

I just changed HOW I did it.

No more moving the coffee table every time I want to work out (mission and a half). I downloaded a 7-minute workout app and now I’m hooked!

Find something effortless that lifts YOUR spirit and boosts your mood.

2. PLAN A FUN EXPERIENCE

If you’re anything like me, you need mood-boosting things to look forward to.

Weekend ventures, mini holidays, neighbourhood missions. This can really help to break up long weeks (or months) and give you a reason to up your confidence a little.

The trick is to start SMALL.

Maybe take a drive and explore your town – and grab a coffee while you’re at it. See how simple? You don’t need to do anything expensive or extravagant to start.

Just inch out of your comfort zone a little at a time.

You’ll see, pretty soon your confidence will improve and you’ll be initiating get-togethers and booking soul-fueled experiences in no time!

building confidence tips

3. SOAK UP MORE NATURE VIBES

There’s no better antidote to stress – or finding your spark – than nature.

Nature soothes the soul and calms the mind. Seriously. Just sit underneath a gigantic tree for a few minutes, listen to the ocean or smell the flowers in a nearby park.

SO peaceful.

Not only that but being in nature reminds us of how small we are in the grand scheme of things. (This is great if you tend to overthink the small stuff!)

Being in nature reminds us to be grateful.

You might even leave there feeling twice as tall and ready to take on the WORLD.

4. LISTEN TO SOMETHING EMPOWERING

Sometimes you just need someone to tell it like it is.

Real talk, empathy and non-fluffy actionable tips.

When I was going through a bit of a slump, I listened to Jen Sincerro’s You Are a Badass audiobook and it made me look at things very differently. I love her BS-free approach. That’s my language. Another good one I found recently was the Emotional Badass podcast. SO good!

Find a podcast, playlist or audiobook that speaks YOUR language.

And to elevate those empowering feelings even MORE…

Try combining it with something you’ve been procrastinating over (like *cough* packing away the laundry).

5. DANCE LIKE NO-ONE’S WATCHING

ls there even a better way to boost your mood, confidence and calorie burn?!

I think not.

Dancing gives us permission to be ourselves 100% in the moment.

Move and shake it in your sweats. Or, have a dance party while you wash the dishes (mind the soap!) Pretend you’re a back-up dancer to Lady Gaga. Whatever, just have FUN.

Dancing makes us feel ALIVE.

(Plus, it’s a pretty sneaky way to get your workout in, too!)

Over To You

I hope you found this mini guide helpful!

Building confidence, as I’m learning, is a journey and not an overnight change. It requires a bit of a holistic approach. So please take it easy, start small and be kind to yourself as you grow.

Did I miss any other good tips? Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to read them!

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Tasmin

    Love this! Totally understand the slump – sitting in one at the moment but while I’m in the middle of doing something that makes me happy and that I really want to do. Will take on these confidence boosting tips into the new week and see how they fair 😬. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Melanie Chisnall

      Hey Tasmin! Yes, please let me know how they work for you – I’m really keen to hear! 🙂 I think a lot of us are feeling the slump a bit now… totally normal I think, given that it’s that time of year (AND it feels like we’ve had a few years squashed into one!) Have an awesome weekend and enjoy the cozy vibes with all this great rain we’re getting ☕xx

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